Spotlight on obsession, passion, writing and a glutton – reflections on behaviours
An Indie Author’s life is difficult no matter the passion for the art form, or should I say, obsession. The process is fraught with stumbling blocks allowing self-doubt to raise its ugly head constantly. Thus, the question arises. Are Indie Authors gluttons for punishment? In fact, are authors in general gluttons for punishment? Think about it. They do it again and again. (Thanks Susan Loves Books for this great image. It is me perfectly only everyday.)
Lately I have debated with myself as to whether or not I should continue writing. Maybe I am presuming a talent that doesn’t exist or surely I’d be famous? Subsequently I decided to go back to my first novel Unexpected Obsession and reread it (as a reader not an author) in order to investigate and spotlight what made me that punishment glutton. The one I might add, who then created a second book. A chapter in and I knew the answer. I am fascinated by human behaviour and that includes my own. The truth, or rather reality fascinates me and reflection brings clarity or at least, it does for me.
Writing is my way of examining the world around me. It is my obsession – this total enthrallment with behaviours. Some recent experiences have truly thrown me. Someone should have warned me away from people-watching. Or perhaps not? I’d like to explore this further but not at the moment. Instead, I want to write about my reaction to my own work. For example, I have a soft spot for my first novel not because I think it is a great book but because it taught me the meaning of courage. I self-published and I wrote what I wanted to write, a reflection of reality within a romance. What is love? What is obsession? I wanted to explore. Da Vinci wisely said we can’t love or hate without first understanding what we are dealing with. I truly believe this which is why I had my photo taken years ago in Vinci, Italy in front of the quote.
I know formulas are necessary and understand too well as a reader myself, that readers desire escapism. Of course, they do, and I am a reader foremost, but a balance has great appeal. People are not perfect and don’t have perfect bodies and don’t fall perfectly in love and don’t always live perfectly ever after. Life is not that simple. We don’t live in isolation and hence life is often as dependent on the onlookers around us as much as it is on the individuals. Love, whether familial, based on friendship or of the romantic kind takes work and a lot of that work involves interacting with people, those we know, those we work with and those that simply cross our path.
Some of us are a little broken and as a result struggle internally with ourselves before we can engage in an external relationship that will demand loyalty, passion, and hence acceptance. These things don’t just revolve around the love story but around life in general. My hero takes almost the whole book to realise loving is a shared responsibility. It taxes his leading lady’s patience at times. Behaviour, like life, is as much dependent on how the world around us reacts to us as it is on us rethinking our own behaviour. Some people genuinely don’t know how to reflect on their own behaviour. But, most do.
Ultimately, Lia’s compassion and patience doesn’t change the leopard’s spots, but her unthreatening approach encourages Nico to sheath his claws and think before he acts. This is what I want to write about. Is it wise to rush into behavioural acceptance? Accepting alone does not equate to understanding for either party and thus no learning takes place. In today’s world too many people out there think acceptance is what it’s all about. But if you just accept there is then an imbalance to the relationship. Neither party learns how to truly communicate with the demands of social interaction. Boundaries and truths allow us true communication. Knowledge and acknowledgement leads to better compromise.
The song sums it all up beautifully or at least the chorus does – I hate you, then I love you, l hate you, and then love you. Notice it ends with loving. And what a beautiful version by Pavarotti and Dion. This may seem left field, but I am reminded of so many episodes of Sex in the City. In those moments when we had access to Carrie’s thoughts while she typed away, we were forced to think deeper, we were forced into reflecting. Heroes or anti-heroes can be difficult; they live by their own rules. They are shaped by their situation but the situation is influenced by the people around them.
In Unexpected Passion, Unexpected Love Book 2, the problems occur because both protagonists fear involvement and the emotional upheaval it may bring. I don’t blame them but running away from reality serves no purpose. Instead it causes an undermining to our very human hearts. Crumbling will occur. Reality is bricks, mortar, timber and whatever else it takes to build something substantial. As a consequence, in the book misunderstanding occur as both parties struggle with the idea of unconditional acceptance.
Though circumstances are very different in Unexpected Passion, it is those offering a safe place for self-reflection that leads to a happy ever after ending. Overcoming fear takes time but thank the stars, Ricardo has realised Lexi is totally worth the risk.
Truth is – difficult people make life difficult. But how can you hate something you don’t know or understand. It is what Da Vinci’s words are telling us. What if we look first at ourselves and ensure our behaviour encompasses listening and patience? And compassion? And most importantly encompasses a gentle reminder that behaviours have an effect on other people just as ours have on them. It works with Nico in Unexpected Obsession. And because both characters walk through into the new book, next month I have a song that beautifully reflects the outcome. I hope you come back to listen to it.
It’s time now that I to move on to Book 3 and discover whether the JJs (as their friends refer to them) are capable of reflection and if so, will it move their relationship on?
Barbara’s news:
My books
This is now irrelevant as you will know if you have read this far.
The world around me
My youngest daughter took me seriously and for my birthday sent me an array of cacti as I am known to somehow fail in keeping plant life alive. I am still working on displaying them better in my small alcove of a garden. Thank you, Baby Girl. You rock and you listen.
Books I have read and films I have watched
Haven’t had much time this month due to personal reasons so no films but I do have a book by a new author I have watched develop over the last few years. The book is a fantasy and beautifully written, sports a fabulous cover by Chris Brunton (a local and talented illustrator here in Townsville) and the book is a wonderful start to a series. Take a chance and have a read. Well done, Alyson Walton. Oh. Let’s not forget that the author is an Aussie.
Alla prossima,
Barb
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The Emotions Anthology Box Set
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