What was I thinking
Packing up things for my move, I got side-tracked on the computer. Off course I did. Anything to avoid work, right? Anyway, I came across this old post of mine by accident and was fascinated by the title – Evolution of Failure – falling forward. What the heck was that supposed to mean? And what was I thinking?
Reading on, I found myself drawn further into a conversation with my previous self and I made the decision to re-write the post to suit the here and now. Continuing to live or exist in the environment where you are certain to fail takes a special kind of courage and worth a discussion.
In my case writing when I am so slow to produce and be recognised, and I may never be, is to say the very least, daunting. Going into battle is brave, fighting for rights and beliefs is brave but improving on what you do and accepting that you may fail again seems more an act of crazy than heroic. A masochistic act or is it? So what if your failure is forward?
Failing forward and a definition
Again, I have to question myself. What exactly is all this supposed to mean? Failing forward? Isn’t failing, just plain old failing? And failing forward has conations of falling flat on you face, doesn’t it? Perhaps not. What happens if we look closer at these two words? Let’s commence with a definition. Old school thinking but one that works.
Failing forward means you willingly enter the reaching the limits zone. This is the place where constant exhaustion of the heart and head is certain. Both Will Smith and Denzel Washington, describe it as the place you live, where you are almost certain, to fail and yet you don’t move out.
Think of being at a gym and adding the extra kilos to the weight you have only just successfully lifted. You know it will be impossible to go the next step but you try anyway. Guess what? Your body adapts. Perhaps not that particular day but soon after. We are practising controlled failure because our aim is higher and that is evolution.
Denzel Washington sheds positivity on what has long been a negative concept. Failure is a way of achieving true success. I know it sounds strange but think of it in this fashion – to succeed you need talent, but talent isn’t enough; you need more. Success needs the guts to fail. Denzel says if you don’t fail, you are not really bothering to try. You are staying safe, doing the known, following a tried formula, and the penalty is never knowing the true success that is failing. Think about it, thinks about that incredible moment you take one step into the unknown.
Food and failing
I see that as evolution towards the person you or I want to be. In this day and age and with what is happening in our world becoming a better person is vital. Evolution, however, is not comfortable. Imagine yourself as a salmon swimming upstream, against that battering current.
Can you relate to a feeling that makes you feel truly alive – truly challenged. Surprisingly for me at least, I actually can and I am far from brave. However, I may just be a fish who may succeed against the current.
Talking of fish, food is another area where we minimise risks by playing it safe and following that recipe. Take lasagne for instance. If you followed instructions a vegetarian lasagne would not exist, and neither would the lasagne I made using slices of bread (don’t judge, it was too for shopping). By the way it was delicious.
Subsequently, at least in my eyes, staying on the safe path may have its appeal but trying something new is an exciting evolution. It sounds like I have truly understood the concept, doesn’t it? Well, I have news for you. The answer is a definite no. Or rather it was until I did some further reading. What I discovered, well, what I already knew is that fear holds us back no matter what our brain has absorbed. Winning – our brain becomes obsessed with winning so we fear failing. When I came across this article written several years ago I understood everything so much better. It is an older article but trust me the sentiment remains fresh and meaningful.
Winning is a way of behaving
Click on my link Writers helping Writers to read this article by Doctor Carol Dweck, a Stanford professor of psychology and author of the book, Mindset. She has the following to say. ‘… winning is not a place you arrive; it’s a way you behave. And the most successful writers behave with a growth mindset.’
This makes perfect sense. It is a position you place yourself where you are open and flexible, and more importantly, willing to learn so of course you are constantly risking failure and living with fear. It’s hardly an easy place to be but then again, it is a place of true learning though learning comes with a set of difficulties we ourselves create. Too often we do not want to accept we don’t hold all the answers, or accept that perhaps some things are beyond us but does that matter?
If we allow ourselves to be open minded we discover that achieving a growth mindset, one where we have better comprehension of failing forward we become better humans, or should I say more humane. It is a breeding ground for pride in ourselves, a place for seeking to understand ourselves better and in doing so, we treat others better.
How hard is it to:
- acknowledge the areas where we can do better
- keep learning, read books and blogs, go to lectures, partner with like-minded people, or find a coach
- consider the fact that bringing visions to life has impact and this means thinking about impacts along the way and not just the end-goal
- focus on constantly mastering your craft
- be grateful for the people beside you because they ease your travels and remember:
It’s about going the extra mile and remember when you are failing forward that it took failing early and failing often to get you to this place.
What is your take on all this? Let me know as I would love to understand more. If you like this discussion then check out the other post I did way back when on failing early.
Until next time,
Barb
Special thanks to the following from Unsplash for the photos. Credit in order of appearance
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