The poetry of a CT Scan

ct scanThere is a trend towards audio in this wonderland of books. Mind you, I still like my hands on when reading but these days it is easier for me to read on a kindle or iPad. I still love the print book but for me it has become a question of ease and books can be hard to carry around no matter how pretty.

Audio however has not had me fully on board but recently I have to admit a definite attraction to be being read to, especially when it comes to poetry. With this in mind I decided to record one of my new poems from Emotions in Existence. I am my own worst critic and was up for the experiment.

I’m not sure I have the voice for it (I have problems with my throat), but I did find it was so much better to be listening to the words even if I was my own audience.it was me I was  my own voice. Don’t expect a professional performance. I am hoping though that the sentiments come through, that the aural deepens meaning and understanding. Just in case, there is a written transcript below.

The end of a relationship is often confusing with neither party wanting to admit to reality. I am not sure why I thought of a scan to make my point. I think when you are in that chamber you feel so isolated. It is for those few minutes, a cold and lonely place – clinical, in much the same way that the time before the end is for each member of the couple. Time spent in that silent machine, the machine examining your internals as if they were nothing breeds the fear that speaking up will prolong the experience and yet we know the loneliness if continued will be unbearable. The irony is that no-one wants to be the bad guy and speak first. What do you think? I would love to know if my words connect.

CT Scan

Don’t move!
Arms still.
Body rigid.
Eyes closed.
You know it was the same
when we played the marriage game.
No contact of the heart.
Bodies together but far apart.
 
Don’t move!
You’ll ruin the image.
Arms still.
Body rigid.
Eyes closed.
Just silently lie there,
your soul cold and bare.
It’s a marriage bed,
even when the love is dead.
 
Don’t move!
We’re not quite finished.
Arms still.
Body rigid.
Eyes closed.
It’s the only way
to find the source.
The only chance to say
we are way off course.
 
Don’t move!
Make the effort
 if you can
to lie with
arms still.
Body rigid.
Eyes closed.
This is just a CT scan.

 

Emotions in Ex cover 2

getbook.at/EmotionsinExistence

 

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