No spotlighting this month. Instead, I am contemplating on my career as a writer and why it moves so slowly. Recently I came across an interesting article written by Kathy Caprino in Linkedin entitled 8 Hurtful Ways People Let Themselves Down Every Day. I don’t know that it does apply to me but then again I don’t think it doesn’t either. Writing things down in point form helps to clarify and I realised I could see myself in what I was reading. We do let ourselves down. At least, I do, and it would appear I do it eight ways. I love the idea of contemplation because I like to know the ins and outs of things, particularly with behaviours, mine and that of others. Sometimes it would be better if I wasn’t so fascinated.
Contemplation occurred because the article resonated. I distanced myself from my emotions and I thought about the things I do. For instance, I speak up for myself, but do I say everything I want to say? No. I don’t. A strict parental upbringing prevents it. My father was strict to the extreme. However, for all that he was harsh, he adored his children. Consequently, I didn’t want to hurt him. Subsequently, I fell into the second way of letting myself down – I stopped myself connecting to what I truly felt and wanted. If deserving more meant hurting someone then how could I do that?
I then fell into the third trap – hanging onto a relationship that was hurting me. They were my parents and their traditions were different. I couldn’t lose my parents. I compromised. This pattern is something most of us do – it slips into all relationships, especially with friendships. Contemplation is supposed to help us find better solutions. Mine was choosing a career path I didn’t really want because I didn’t have the confidence to choose what I wanted. I still do this, say yes, to keep the peace at least some of the time. Habits are hard to break. I believe what I do at times is called the path of least resistance. There are better roads to take, I think.
The real problem lies in the fact that for us to succeed we need to be single minded; I am not advocating ignoring others and their beliefs and needs but we need to believe ours are just as worthy – number 4. Somehow that supposedly equates to selfish. Number 5 point highlights how necessary it is to understand we can’t continue to think and believe we don’t deserve better. To be that indoctrinated to something unhealthy leads to Number 6, the place where we stop stretching those dreams and possibilities. In other words – we give up and often that can become a habit. It would make life so much easier to just give up and do something else, wouldn’t it?
Giving up is the path to anxiety land and feeling let down. Together these two things can breed resentment of others. I have a friend who does this constantly and it scares me. Why resent others for what they can do? Not doing is the choice we make. 7 seeks to blame others for what is happening and 8 knows it is wrong but it is so much easier than looking at ourselves. Is it though? We all have capabilities. Consequently. we can only blame ourselves if we don’t develop these.
Too much philosophising leads to splotches on a canvas coloured by blood. Contemplation is messy. Life was much less complicated when I didn’t think about the whys of everything. Time for action. Back to the third novel I guess. Giving up doesn’t prove I can’t write in any case. It just proves I am not willing to try. Ouch.
Barb’s News
My own books
Contemplating but closer to being in progress.
The world around me
Townsville has acquired the most beautiful bookshop. Arcane Books has style, colour and a great deal of thought about presenting something that will appeal to many. Contemplating less is a good thing. It can lead to action. Visiting the store has allowed a home for my books. I was over the moon at just having the bookstore open up in Townsville as it has the best vibe and it makes you want to read, to become engrossed in a different world. Not that I needed this. Books are my refuge.
Owner Peta made my day with her personality, and enthusiasm for the world of books. If anyone reading my blog lives in Townsville and hasn’t been to Arcane Books, you are missing out. It is a wonder FOMO hasn’t reared its head. Go and have a look. if I’m wrong then let me know but I won’t be. ArcaneBooks Isn’t the set up just gorgeous?
I have had an exciting time this month and it was all to do with books and Townsville. I attended a Mary Who Bookshop meet the author. The very lovely Tenille, who works for the bookshop had some excellent questions and Shankari Chandran was one of the best speakers I have heard in a long while. See below for Safe Haven and I have included a link to a previous blog where I have also written about this author.
Barely a week later I went to Janes Cook University to attend the Margaret and Colin Roderick Literary Award night for 2024. The award was presented to the winner Melissa Lucashenko along with the record prize of $50,000. Highlighting colonial Queensland, Edenglassie is spellbinding.
Melissa was in great company along the way to winning. The award is all about encouraging Australian writers and included Lola in the Mirror by Trent Dalton; Life As We Knew It: The Extraordinary Story of Australia’s Pandemic by Aisha Dow and Melissa Cunningham; Restless Dolly Maunder by Kate Grenville; Two Sparrowhawks in a Lonely Sky by Rebecca Lim; The Conversion by Amanda Lohrey; A Brilliant Life by Rachelle Unreich, and Praiseworthy by Alexis Wright.
Books I’ve read and Films/Television series I watched
No films this month but I am addicted to re-runs of E.R. and not because of George Clooney. On deeper reflection, I think I would have liked to have been a doctor, something I discovered in my early forties when I became a receptionist to my GP. I did things I would never have imagined me doing. She was one of the best doctors I have ever been privy to know. But, I have to be honest, I am not certain I would have survived the emotional demands. I am not sure I can survive ER although what a wonderful gift to me it would make so I can find out.
Books
I had a mixed bag this month, but I loved them all. I am learning more about being a better writer than I could have imagined simply by reading.
Safe Haven – Shankari Chandrin
Loved this. I loved Chai Time at Cinnamon Gardens and Safe Haven was no less compelling. An Australian voice who is not afraid to tell us that if we want a better world we have to make it happen.
Don’t Kiss and Spell – Camilla Isley
Fun, romantic, an almost murder and talking familiars. What more can you want? Beautiful characters that has us attach immediately and some wonderful world building.
Isle of Blood and Stone – Makiia Lucier
A slow and steady pace into adventure, loyalty, betrayal, and love but this is fantasy with plenty of action and not a romance. In saying that, the romance is lovely.
Heart of Silk and Shadows – Lisette Marshall
The take on the Fae had a lovely fresh feel to it and there was some lovely world-building.
Happy reading everything and see you next time or as the Italians say,
Alla prossima,
Barb
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The Emotions Anthology Box Set
How wonderful that you have a home for your books at the bookstore. You should be so proud of all your accomplishments Barb! I agree with you, ER is definitely worth watching reruns.
I am so addicted to watching them. Thanks for saying hello and keep up the yummy recipes.