I debated what I would start the New Year with for most of the month of December 2023. The obsessive desire to say something meaningful stunted ideas before they began. Then, quite by accident I came across a blog I wrote a few years ago. It was based on an article by Richard George, entitled Find your Gorilla: career lessons from Sir David Attenborough and it struck a writing nerve. Gorillas might have been mentioned but in reality the post was about following dreams. I meandered into some of mine but meandering is far from following. The desire had existed but the spirit to follow it through was weak and instead I discovered what if moments.
How many of us have watched the wonderful stories presented to us over the years? Have you, like me, envied Sir David for the most incredible career. He has been fortunate enough to indulge his passion for nature since 1954 and calling it work with our endorsement. And his enthusiasm has not waned. Can you say the same? I have no doubt some of you can because like Attenborough you may have grabbed the moments and side-stepped the what ifs of life.
This suggests that the right mindset leads us to the right role/position/place in life and I believe it. Certain moments are crucial to our future lives. Our desires lead us consciously or subconsciously to them. These moments are then turning points. For whatever reason, deliberately or not, some of us miss the signpost for the turn. Years later we find ourselves wondering, dwelling on the what if. What if we had not feared the gorillas, the costs involved, the taking a chance, the roll of the dice, the hard work that may have been involved, and of course the most basic of fears – we are not good enough to do what we desire.
Was Sir David in a time and place by sheer chance though? Maybe. Or is it more he recognised gorilla moments and chose to take a risk to and hence launched himself into history. The sitting back and pondering the what if from the safety of years gone by is bittersweet, painful even. Would you agree? If so, the next question would have to be – are we in time at this later stage of life to change things?
2024 is a new year and it is time to make it count as a year of opportunities, one where you make the choice of leaping for gold. Will you make that leap? Will I? I want to, but I have to be honest. I have always taken a leap but only so far. Whilst my life has been varied and interesting and in many parts, pretty spectacular, I held back even as I took a leap.
Many years ago, someone very close to me described life as that series of coincidences offering life choices if we are prepared to take the step. I agreed but I was young and afraid of repercussions and so I let the chance/moments go by. So did he for all his clever talk. Sadly, as most of us come to understand, unanswered questions remain a sad tune in the unsung melody compartment of our minds. They draw us backwards rather than propelling us forward because the reminder of what we didn’t do is not productive. In fact, I refer to it as the what if syndrome because I liken it to a sickness, one without a known cure if we are not careful.
Let’s face it, it’s too late to do anything because the if was then, and we are in the now. If is not a pretty word. It automatically signals regret. Regret stops us moving forward. Having a respect for the dangers of risk-taking whether they are emotional or physical is certainly important to our well-being. However, if we are looking back then our current well-being is being undermined. Rather than think what if we should consider what now. Once upon a time we were not courageous enough to play with a family of gorillas. What if we are able to now? Mayhap not with gorillas but an alternative to suit. I mean, do dreams have an expiry date. That thought frightens me more than any gorilla.
I’d like to digress a little, so I beg your indulgence. When I was four years old I had a traumatic experience with a very large canine. As a consequence, I spent a good deal of my teenage and young adult life dodging dogs despite I might add, my parents and friends having dogs. My fear was such that I would cross the road, turn corners, or enter a store if I even caught a glimpse of a dog. In fact, there was little I wouldn’t do to avoid a confrontation.
As I lived away from home, my parents were able to indulge themselves with a Pembroke Corgi named Leo whom I had no choice but to tolerate. When he died only a few short years later, my father was inconsolable. His distress had a profound effect on me. I liked Leo but I was indifferent to his presence. I know that sounds callous, but such was my fear. I could not be indifferent to my father’s emotions, and I understood he missed his companion. Subsequently I decided I would find him another Leo, not a substitute but something to take away a little of the pain. With some researching I found the perfect breeder and duly went to the address.
There was no-one home, well, not exactly true as I discovered when following little yips of sound, I went through their front gate and around the back. Yes, I realise how wrong that was. Now. Then I was set on a mission. I had to know whether the next Leo existed. Mum, Dad and eight puppies. That is what I saw before Dad (barking ferociously) and Mum (growling viciously) took all my attention. I should have run; I didn’t. Blame it on my Army training, although to be frank, in those days women didn’t do what they do today. Also, running might have antagonised the parents further.
Instead, I remember hushing both Mum and Dad gently and crouching down to their level. Mum growled. Dad growled. I hushed them further and kept softly murmuring my admiration for their offspring. That’s where the owners found me. Me and a lapful of soft, brown-bellied bundles of absolute delight. They were surprisingly understanding about finding me in their backyard but shocked I was unharmed. The family had no qualms about leaving the little canine family on their back verandah. They knew how protective the parents were of their little family.
Yet somehow I knew I’d be safe. I listened to my instincts. This was the right place to be, and Leo the Second nuzzled his way into my lap and into my father’s life. The author of the original post noted that ‘… the greatest and most wonderful things we do often happen as a result of putting ourselves at risk and grasping the things that scare us.’ I did exactly that. For my father. Yet courage failed me at so many other stages of my life. What if…?
Opportunities are not neat packages. They come in all shapes and sizes and yes they are often frightening. We can learn a lot about life and its possibilities by watching Sir David Attenborough and utilising those moments of his choices. What if he had been too afraid to find his gorilla and take that tumble in the jungle? The world would be a sadder place and I think so would he. What do you think?
Thank you to www.unsplash.com for the kind images in this order: jess-bailey
max-christian marek-piwnicki aditya-joshi regina-art-R07 chuttersnap-fya
Until next time, ciao
Barb
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This is a great post, Barbara! I was thinking about you this weekend and how we needed to reconnect. This post gave me a lot to ponder. I never was a risk taker. I know I’ve let opportunities pass right through my fingers because I was afraid or I hesitated so long that the time to grab it passed. I don’t know what 2024 holds for me. It’s already February and I have very little to show for those five weeks. I’m just so very tired. I have great ideas in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep but, when the daylight comes, I’ve lost my enthusiasm. I have to snap out of this rut I’m in.
Thank you for commenting and yes time to reconnect. We survive by helping each other.
Very insightful.