Are you missing out? Get over it.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.”

Ann Brashares

 holidaysIf it seems I may be a little quote obsessed by the numerous quotes that crop up in my blog posts, you may be right. Too often though the right quote says exactly what is on my mind. For instance, the other day I read a post entitled Is fomo ruining your life and the above quote came up. Reflecting back to a post on fomo (fear of missing out) I did last year I realised I am still puzzling over the same subject.

Covid 19 and some of the behaviours that have occurred and still occur have me once again considering this topic. My original post highlighted fomo as predominantly dealing with general fears however during this pandemic it has escalated to so much more. These days when fomo comes to the forefront it seems to centre around a fear of not gratifying needs even if others may be hurt by this gratification. My inclination is to believe this is based on a fear of not doing certain things ever again so the need for normal is almost an obsession.

empty restaurant unsplahThe desperate need to drink beer at a pub or bar, to eat at a restaurant, to spend the day at the beach, or to take a holiday is understandable. Humans are social creatures and need the opportunity to relax, and to have fun. Empty restaurants have a sadness about them and we are all aware that the economy depends on the money we spend.

An economy that flourishes means employment and employment allows us to look after our families. I am not really questioning the need for the above, I am questioning their worth if we sacrifice common sense.

That is a high price to pay. Think about it. It’s scary, right? That a need to do or have can override the welfare of others? Because that is exactly what it means. We can still take our pleasures but let’s be careful of how we do that. Can we do what we want and still keep safe?

I would have thought so but a line-up at the border to get some sunshine is one thing, sneaking past that border is another, and that is what some people were trying to do. Lining up to go into nightclubs, packing enclosed areas? Is keeping a short distance apart really so difficult? And if someone is that desperate, then what else are they capable of? These ideas have been going round and round in my head.

empty restaurant unsplahThis fomo has a new definition. Fomo – the road to self-satisfy. Fomo – the fuel of bad behaviour. If you go back and read my post (the one I wrote last year) I am admitting here and now that I am ashamed of my then naive discussion. In my defence, I always hope for the best and I certainly never expected this global nightmare, which frankly I don’t understand.

I suffer from depression and anxiety so life hasn’t been easy. I have felt the loneliness. I have missed the opportunity to see a grandchild walk except by video. I have a daughter on the front-line. I don’t have a job anymore because of Covid 19 and as a pensioner I am not in a great position because working part time allowed me to be selfish enough to buy things for my grandchildren. Now if I get a job it could be taking away from people with a family to feed.

fear unsplashI worry about how I can service my car or pay my bills, and I worry about the toll of the current times on my friends and family, and on our global community. But I am no different to millions of people out there. I am telling you this, so you understand that I understand how difficult things are – for everyone.

I’d like nothing better than to go back to normal. I too am not happy about missing out on restaurants, holidays, and whatever else you can dream up, but I will not be defined by what I miss out on. Fomo is not the way I want to define my life. Do you?

beachesThis is a war and war takes hostages and in order to prevent more suffering, we have to miss out now or at least be damn careful of what we do and where we go.

If we work together then we shorten the time that has us missing out on things. I am not saying we shouldn’t find ways to alleviate the stress but let’s do it safely.  I know most of us are trying but maybe we need to try a little harder by speaking up when others transgress. Our day on the beach will come back.

For the sake of us all #keepyourdistance #supporteachother #acceptwhatisnecessary and remember we are #allinthistogether.

Till next time,


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