It has been quite a while since I have posted. I love blogging but it does get hard at times to maintain unless you have a routine. I read somewhere if you can stick to something for three weeks then you can count on it becoming permanent in your life. We have a resistance at times to things that are good for us, or at least I have especially when it concerns the gym. I’d be happy to reach three weeks (am waiting for that to happen).
In 2009 studies showed that on average it takes sixty six days for a habit to become ingrained. This actually makes more sense than the three weeks. Habits don’t happen overnight. They take commitment and they demand consistency. Everything we do is a habit of sorts and it is the effort we make that gives us the results we seek.
It occurred to me that the opposite is also true. If we don’t commit and work on growing that habit then it would disappear and I don’t think it would take sixty six days or even three weeks for that to happen. Let’s face it; it’s so much easier to let something go than work at keeping it. It is why relationships fail along with gym memberships. It is hard to find the stamina sometimes to keep going.
These last few months I have struggled with the idea of writing, a common problem for authors. Working so hard on rewrites is disheartening if necessary, especially when funds for this are limited. I have had to learn to do so much myself. In some ways I have considered this to be a good thing. It means there are ways to do even the impossible but it is the hard road to take and has a huge effect on other aspects of life. Time for other things ceases to exist. I didn’t mind this part so much but in combination with an immune system that reacts to stress, some unexpected problems and relocating, insidious threads have managed to undermine an already delicate self-esteem.
This is the problem with humans. We are frail and falter easily. I have spent a lifetime wanting to write and a mere three months to convince myself it is all too hard and I probably lack the necessary talent in any case. I do know better than to think this way. However the same brain that says don’t be ridiculous also says you’re tired, you’re not doing it right, and tells you to let it go and find something else that is within your realm of capabilities.
Good habits, unless ingrained derail at faster than a speeding bullet superman speed. Believing you can takes a long time to accept, believing you can’t because you’re not good enough, barely a second. I wonder how many of you can relate to this. Have you let life steer you away from your dreams? It is here that habits, the good ones, can kick in if we let them and make the difference. For me it wasn’t about writing every day or going on social media, although these things matter. It was about reminding myself of what I can do rather than what I can’t do.
Somewhere in this dark period my eldest daughter decided to drag me to Japan. She didn’t have to pull too hard as Japan is one of the loves of my life, and we have extended family in Tokyo (increased by one adorable baby girl in March) but it was out of the norm and just what I needed.
You see, I absorb other cultures really well. I learned this as a migrant child, learned to thrive on differences. I am inspired by them and so I let the beauty of the Japanese people and their country work their magic. I put my novels aside and instead concentrated on the disciplined art of Haiku. This wonderful medium expresses much with very little and the challenge to master this was exciting. I like other cultures and I like words and so I wrote. I don’t know if I have succeeded in disciplining my use of words the way I should but I don’t care. Sometimes it is enough to try. If only the love I feel comes through then it’s enough. It means I am on track again.
White black mountain calls
Resolutions in the mist
Ice on lava fire
No idle hands speak
Occupation is fierce
Beauty in movement
Cherry pink blossom
Blood dissolving on white petals
A joyous harmony
Honour flutters soft
Harsh creations sing a song
Peaceful warrior heart
Busy lives encased
Skylines hold concrete glory
Earth ripples power
A smile and warmth abides
Climbing embers reach limits
Cleansing fire rebuilds
Differences fade
West and east under the rain
Misty skins dazzle
Fast lane hunger
Time for history to amble
True essence prevails
Until next time
Barb
What a good read! I too, have had moments of the same thoughts. But I’m far too stubborn to let it get to me. As crazy as it sounds, I can out-stubborn myself!
The key is to never let yourself have time to think ‘am I doing this wrong? am I even capable?” because you are. Everyone is capable. God gave you skills. You lack NOTHING. He made you exactly as you’re suppose to be. Some may struggle or take awhile for the learning process, but it’s ultimately up to you whether you use what He gave you.
If you want something, reach for it, grab it with an iron grip, and stick to it. If you find at a later time, you don’t like it – that it’s not what you want – there’s no shame in letting it go. There’s other things in the world, and there’s far too much ‘other things’ to sit and wallow.
Dream big, strengthen your mind, and run down anything that stands in your way – even you’re own negative thoughts. There’s no other way to live.
Dream big, my friend. Because you have what it takes.
What a lovely comment and your words are so beautifully expressed. Thank you and hope to see you again
You have amazing blog!😍❤❤❤
My Tumblr acc: @janasenic
Love your posts!!❤❤
Thank You so much. I don’t get many comments so its hard at times to know. See you again, I hope.